Oaks & Arrows

Our Family Story

where we are.


“Many are the plans in the mind of a man, but it is the PURPOSE of the Lord that will stand”  Prov. 19:21

All my life I’ve been a planner – wishin’, and dreamin’, and making expectations for myself and how I think my life should go.  I thought that of course, by year #5 in our marriage, we’d be popping out a baby and starting the American dream of a happy little family.  Because of this planning gene in me, living in the wait of this adoption world is so tough.  We really thought by now, month 18 in our process, that we’d be announcing a match with a beautiful little India princess.  We thought we’d be starting to decorate a nursery and soon be traveling to get her.  But, we’re not.

Not yet.

No answers in sight on when this baby is’a movin.  18 months in, and it feels like it’s been a decade – that this time is going so slow.  Things/rules/processes seem to keep changing in India, and wait times getting even longer than when we started.  Recent agency updates have left us rather discouraged, frustrated, angry.   The more frustrated I get, the more broken I get for the millions, not just hundreds, of children in the U.S. and all over the world who are waiting for a mommy and daddy to come take them home.  Can you imagine never knowing if you would be picked to be someone’s baby?  Ugh, may this reality continue to break the church’s heart – so that we cannot turn a blind eye to caring for orphans…regardless of how messy, frustrating, or upsetting the adoption process is.  Y’all, I have to remind myself of this daily or I forget why I’m riding on this emotional rollercoaster.

While processing through many emotions I never thought I’d see, I’ve lately been so comforted by the daily grace God has given to us in facing this mountain.  There have been so many gifts in the mess of this waiting:


celebrating our 5 year anniversary in Charleston! (praise Jesus! so thankful for what He has given us in each other!) Jake is seriously the best gift I could ever ask for. He is such an example of Jesus’ love and grace and humility to me. It was such a sweet time reminiscing that day that we made our promises to each other.

building sweet community in our neighborhood through neighbor dinner nights

being able to support new friends who are beginning their adoption process! – check out the sweet Mullis family’s journey.  So encouraged that adoption is no “plan B” for their family.


spending time with our families – celebrated this little stinker’s 2 year old birthday this past weekend.  What a joy he is!

All in all, even in the midst of the really tough days when I’m seeing all of my friends holding their sweet babies and longing for my girl to be here, I still believe that God is good and He is still working behind the scenes to bring her home.  I know without a doubt (even though I can’t see it often), that God has a purpose in this time.  He is working a far greater story than we can see – we are just trying real hard to cling to that right now.

I know I’ve asked so many of you to pray, and pray again.  Will you keep asking God for our girl for us? Will you join us in asking God every morning, until we get an answer, and that it would be soon?

“…ALL His work is done in faithfulness”  Psa. 33:4


3 thoughts on “where we are.

  1. I completely understand how you feel. We are already a year into the adoption process and do not even have our adoption license approved yet. We are working with DSS in Goldsboro. And there was a huge mistake in our licensure paperwork (all their fault) we should have been complete by the beginning of May… but they lost our file and it sat in their office for TWO MONTHS. Its a long story that I am still disgusted about. We began everything last September. My daughters ask all the time when when when will we find each other. I lay awake at night thinking of and praying for our long awaited child. Is she or he close by? Are they being harmed? Have I unknowingly passed by your home riding down the roads? And maybe they are not even born yet… And to add another complicated element there is the question of if we are willing to foster…are we willing to go thT route with only a chance it will end in adoption?
    I am frustrated by the wait but I know I have to trust in God’s timing. But also be proactive in pushing red tape out of our way. I am praying for you and for your girl…that God will make a way when there doesn’t seem to be one. I always remind myself that God is the author of this story and He will be the finisher. And sometimes masterpeices take a long time. And it will be beautiful. 🙂

  2. Praying for your precious family…

  3. This is an expression of raw, true feelings of a loving, devoted couple who have so much love to give! I have to admire your dedication to this God-inspired journey and the faith you have shown is an inspiration to all who know your journey. As a young boy/teen, Jake displayed several times that he is not a quitter and so again this quality is called upon. My heart pours out for you both and I join you in earnest prayer for God to reveal his design for your lives as well as the plan for this sweet girl!

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